Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Always arrive early. Unless nobody's there.

Everyday on my way to work I pass a White Castle. Being from California, I have never been to a White Castle. However, being a huge Harold & Kumar fan, I feel that it is my civic duty (okay not civic, maybe stoner duty) to go to one. In fact, last night I even had a dream that I had a copy of Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle on VHS (wtf right?), and the tape got caught in the VCR and got all unwound. Oh, technology of the 90s. Anyway, I cried to my boyfriend "Oh no! Now we'll never get to go to White Castle!!!!" and stomped my foot and did something immature and pouty. Clearly, this means that I desperately need a hobby, or at least something that does not involve my work.

Speaking of work.. I left a bit earlier to get there today and so I arrived at 8:20 (I allegedly start at 8:30), only to wait outside the locked door because nobody had arrived yet. I do not have a key. As I'm waiting patiently and fiddling around on my phone, a couple of 9:00 patients show up early, and of course begin to complain about the office not being open.
Patient #1: Are you a patient or do you work here?
Me: I work here.
Patient #1: Then open the door! Come on!
Me: Actually, I just feel like standing here. I could let you in, but I'm enjoying standing out here in this cold drafty corridor, standing with people I've never met and probably wouldn't like anyway.

..Okay no I didn't say that, but I wanted to. What I really said was
Me: I don't have a key.
Patient #2: What's up with you guys not being open yet? I got here at 8:30 and I want to be inside at 8:30.
Me: You and me both. I don't have a key. I'm sorry.
Patient #2: My daughter has to diarrhea!

Wouldn't it be great to be a 2 year-old, getting to demand that what you want happen right now because your diarrhea is about to hit you squarely in the back of your pink stretchy pants, and you're not so great at walking yet so you might just fall flat down on it and spread it all over down your legs? Man, that'd be the life. I guess in another 60 years or so I'll get to again enter that stage of living. Can't wait.

The patients then began to discuss about how great doctors have it, getting to work short hours and earning the big bucks and abusing their patients, or whatever they were talking about, while throwing loathing looks at me all the while. Yes. Because I need reminding how much more money the doctors make than I do. And how they get to take mid-week trips to Aspen. And leave at 5:00 on the nose. Also, according to these patients, I get to join in on reaping all these same benefits.

Today our fax machine, printer, and scanner all stopped working at once. We were all too busy to really dig in and see what happened, but our manager sauntered out of her office, after putting down her cup o' noodle and dramatically tossing her sheer leopard scarf around her shoulders, to take a look. Apparently all it took was a restarting and/or unplugging or two, but for the next hour she kept telling everyone who crossed her pleather boots that she deserved a raise for fixing them all.

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